Steph's World

Just like Wayne's World, only cooler and with way fewer mullets!

I Ain't No Holla Back Girl... Or am I.

Laying in my hotel room at The Las Vegas Hilton and posting from my iPhone. Just a disclaimer to explain no links and more than usual spelling errors.

All those who know me in real life or even follow me on Twitter know how much I love to use the phrase "HOLLA". (side note-no it's not a sickness I looked it up on Web MD.) And if you holla me... I will holla you right back. So that makes me a "holla back girl"... Right?!?!

Well not according to www.urbandictionary.com. 
Definition- Originally, a holla back girl was a member of a cheerleading squad who repeats – hollers back - words that the squad leader shouts out to them. Now, it means a girl doesn't stand up for herself, allowing guys to do whatever they want with her and she follows them, 'holla back' at them.

So even deeper beyond that it means you are a follower rather than a leader. Someone who will emulate those around them. Am I holla back girl?

I would like to say no. Everything I do and say is complety me. I'm a trendsetter. But, that would be a lie. I do take the lead from many people in my life. I allow them to effect what I say, what I think, and even what I do on occasion. But is that a bad thing?

Isn't it important to soak in your environment and the people in it? Shouldn't we take interest in others and invite them into our circle of influence? Isn't that what blogging and Twitter are all about? 

Maybe I should be a card carrying member of the holla back girl club.  HOLLA!!!!!

Cooking with Pine Needles?!?!?!?

Just a quick post...
 
Years and years and years ago when Brian and I were dating I made him dinner.  I cannot remember everything I cooked but I will never forget one thing I prepared that night...
 
We were sitting down to our meal and Brian was devouring everything except the potatoes. I kept thinking it was odd because I had seen him eat potatoes on many occasions.  I asked him if everything was okay.  He sheepishly replied "Did you drop the potatoes on the floor?"  I laughed and said no.  He then held up a little piece of spice and asked "Why are there pine needles in the potatoes then?"  Needless to say I almost fell off my chair laughing.  I am pretty sure tears were created in my fit of laughter.  I took a minute to compose myself and then introduced him to my good friend Rosemary.
 
 

Father's Day is for FATHERS

I rarely blog.  But this has been bothering me since yesterday.
 
It really bothers me when people wish Mothers "Happy Father's Day"!  No disrespect meant to all the mothers out there.  I am one, and I know it is hard work.  However, we have our day.  And as amazing as all of us mommies are... we are not men and therefore cannot be fathers.  (unless you are the pregnant man and you can be both I guess)
 
I also recognize there are many single parents out there that are required to do the work of both parents but, I rarely see people wishing the single dads out there "Happy Mother's Day".  And yesterday I saw countless posts wishing moms "Happy Father's Day".
 
I know it is just a day like any other day.  And it is just words... but now I feel better after having my mini rant.
 
Until next time I am bothered, root canalled, or need to reminisce about teenage toe tattoos.
 

 

Swimming With iPhones (AKA My Husbands a Super Hero)

The other day my iPhone went for a little swim. Courtesy of a leaky
cup with some Diet Coke. Now most people wouldn't let their phone go
for a leisurely dip. But I am a maverick (I am reclaiming the word
from McCain and Palin) and said what the heck, why not?!?!?!

 Actually the iPhone's swim was a complete disaster. I only put the
phone in the cup holder because I wanted to get it out of the direct
sunlight. That is how much I love my phone. I even tuck my phone in
at night. (No joke people, I really do) I would sing it a lullaby if
I had a good voice. I had no clue that the Costco cup I had just
removed from the cup holder had sprung a leak. My phone sat there in
it's own little hot tub for about 2 songs. Thankfully a song I was
sick of came on so I picked up the phone to change the tunage. And
the phone was wet. I being a super genius immediately thought "That's
weird. My phone isn't usually wet" (it is kind of sad how my brain
works) Then I noticed the brownish liquid dribbling out of the bottom
of my beloved iPhone.

 After a brief moment of panic and sadness, I thought I got off lucky.
The touch screen was still functioning and music was still pouring out
of the truck speakers. I then unplugged my FM transmitter... silence.
 Nothing was coming out of the phones speakers. I touched on
Scrabble. It has very noisy beginning music. Just a little muffled
sound. I am pretty sure I then used a few choice words. (kids...
never choose those words) Brian called me at that exact moment and I
picked up. He couldn't hear me speak. Then I lost it.

 I got home and began to shake the Coke from my phone. Brian came home
and said I sounded like I was underwater when he called me. No, not
under water, under diet FREAKING coke. (not placing any blame here
but I don't drink diet coke... muhahahaha) My poor husband first made
the suggestion to just go back to my old phone. Ummm... no. That
would be like using a rotary phone after a cordless. It ain't
happening. Since I ever so kindly (possibly embellishing on the
kindly part) reminded him of that he went into super hero mode.
Thankfully I am married to an actual genius (or at least he plays one
in the face of electronic disasters). He thought that maybe if we
drained all the fluid and dried out the speaker area the phone may
function again. So we went to the bathroom to perform an iPhonectomy.

 Brian gently blew in the hole at the top of my phone. Diet coke came
shooting out of the bottom. Then we put the blow dryer on cool and
started blowing in the speaker area. After there was no sign of any
more drippage we tried the sound test again. I turned on my oh so
noisy Scrabble. And yes... IT WORKED! Or so it seemed. I ran
downstairs and called Brian from another room. He could hear me. I
was in heaven.

 And as you can see by the line below... all is well in the land of me
and my iPhone

 Sent from my iPhone

 Oh ya... the moral of the story for all the kiddies out there. Watch
where you stick your phones and marry smart people.

This Easter is Brought to You by Walgreens

Img00200

That is where I shopped for Easter at 9:50 pm tonight. I entered myself into the bad mom sweepstakes and won... I completely forgot about Easter goodies until tonight.
 
First stop... Walmart. There was a Peep to be seen. Not a chocolate bunny hopping around. They didn't even have any dang eggs.
 
Next stop... Smiths. We were lucky on the egg front. And scored a couple of the coveted marshmallow chicks (aka Peeps). But no pastel colored M&M's. No tiny pink Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.
 
Last stop... Walgreens. My Easter savior. Their shelves were filled with bite sized Snickers, Hershey Kisses, and Starburst Jelly beans. Thanks to them I don't have to explain to my kids what a loser I am. They have plenty of years to figure that out on their own.

Things I Learned From the Dental Chair

Today I had the distinct pleasure of visiting the dentist. Tonight, I type this post, from my phone, in a drug induced haze.

 It all started with a toothache and ended with 16 shots of anesthetics and an 80% done root canal. In this course of time I was taken on a journey of self discovery.

 I hate the dental hygienist-I really don't care how broke you are or how your 6 year old is in therapy for "mental issues". Honestly lady, if you were my mom I would probably want to off myself too.

 I drool a lot-Well at least when I am numb. Or when I seem something really delicious.

 Pee prior to a root canal-Or wear a diaper. Because once they start, there is no getting up. Plus, if you pee in the chair you will probably be electrocuted.

 I have a strong tongue-According the the Endodontist. He said I must exercise it a lot. I am not sure what he meant by that. I guess I must be "that" kind of girl.

 The dentist has a pet snail with algae on his back-I have a few of those in my saltwater tank. We are twinners.

 I am some sort of dental anomaly-16 full shots, a dentist, and an endodontist to partially complete a root canal.

 I have abnormal oral anatomy-I guess that explains why I couldn't get numb. I wish I would have know that little fact earlier.

 I don't have a big mouth-I have been telling people this for years. But it was confirmed today by a medical professional. It still doesn't explain how I am constantly putting my foot in my mouth. But hey... I do have an abnormal oral anatomy. I am sure that explains it.

 Last, but not least....

 If you poke me, I will scream-That's what she said. Oh, I get to blame it on the drugs. Those needles really hurt.

The Law and Gravity

Neither are my friends. Why? Because I now fear getting pulled over every time I leave the house without appropriate upper body support garments. And yes, I do this a lot. I am a mother with 2 boys that have many activities. I am driving them to and fro several times a day. If I don't need to exit the car, the bra is staying home.

 Gravity and a couple kids have done a number on my womanly bits. The only thing perky with me is my personality. And because of this I fear getting pulled over and being asked to step out of the car. What should I tell the officer? "Sorry sir. There are some places you just don't want road burn." Or maybe, "Can I just run home real quick and throw on a bra? Trust me, we will both benefit." There are just some horrors not even the law should be subject to.

 Now a logical person would just throw on a bra and go about their merry way. But I am all about comfort and ease. And if I am not going to see another human... I am sticking to my floppy ways.

 So if I ever get pulled over, I wonder what my ticket will be? Reckless bralessness?

Confessions of a Recovering Teenager

I was a very intelligent teenager (so I thought).  If there was a choice to make, I am sure I chose wrong.  Of course at the time it was definitely the most well thought out and smart decision a person could ever make. Case in point, the not-so-lovely tattoo on my toe. 
 
Let me paint the picture for you.  My friend and I were bored.  My little brother's friend had a homemade tattoo gun.  Complete lack of parental guidance.  So what did my extremely intelligent 15 year old brain decide?  Go buy a Big Gulp you say?  Oh no.  Let us get tattoos on our toes.  Because that is how smart I was.  Of course, a possibly dirty needle and ink from a pen never crossed my mind as a bad idea.  Why would it?  I knew it all, so obviously my decision was perfectly logical.  And I was so badass for having a tattoo on my toe.  Never mind the fact it was a sorry excuse for a daisy.  Completely look past the fact that no one ever noticed it.  Well that is unless I pointed it out to them.  Because I was THAT cool you know. 
It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact I did not in fact know everything.  You will all find this surprising considering the genius that is me today.  But, I did eventually come to the conclusion that I was probably one of the most stupid teenagers around.  Admission is the first step to recovery, right?  Well I admitted and started to move on.  I chose to learn from my mistakes instead of letting them define who I am as a person.  And if I ever need to be reminded of just how smart I was, I can just look down at my big toe. 
 
BTW... I am far more badass now then I EVER was before.  I didn't even need to get a tattoo to prove it. 

Spring is Here

Sitting here at the first baseball practice of the year reminds me that springnhas officially arrived. The field isn't quite ready with mounds of dirt still waiting to be spread. The air is still crisp, the grass is still brown, yet it's spring all the same. I know we are in store for cold morning games and blustery wind filled night games. But is this not what parenting is all about? Weathering the storms of life with our children in hopes they hit it out of the park. Each year as my kids grow, I remember that these times are brief and they are just in the spring time of their lives. I cherish these moments and am so glad spring is here.